Loving my enemies has never been an easy concept to grasp. I remember a time when someone deeply hurt me, and I struggled with the bitterness that followed. As much as I wanted to forgive and move on, the pain lingered, and love felt impossible. However, the more I turned to Scripture, the more I realized that loving my enemies isn’t about feeling good or getting justice—it’s about reflecting the love of Christ. Jesus calls us to love even when it’s hard, and He equips us to do so through His example and strength.
The Bible clearly instructs us to love our enemies, not just in theory but in practice. Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:44 (NLT) are direct: “But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!” This command might seem impossible, but with God’s help, we can take steps toward this challenging yet transformative act of love.
But this is just the beginning—God’s Word offers even deeper wisdom on how to love our enemies in practical ways that can transform both our hearts and our relationships.
Understanding What It Means to Love Your Enemies
Loving your enemies is a radical command that goes against our natural inclinations. In most cases, when someone wrongs us, our first instinct is to retaliate or distance ourselves from them. Yet, Jesus calls us to respond in a way that reflects God’s mercy, even when it’s difficult.
The key to understanding this kind of love lies in recognizing that it’s not based on feelings. In Greek, the word used for love in Matthew 5:44 is agape—a selfless, sacrificial love that seeks the best for others regardless of how they’ve treated us. This kind of love isn’t about condoning wrongdoing or allowing others to hurt us, but rather choosing to respond with grace.
Jesus lived out this agape love throughout His ministry, but the most powerful example is found in His crucifixion. As He hung on the cross, He prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34, NLT). Jesus showed compassion for those who were actively harming Him, demonstrating that true love isn’t earned by behavior—it’s given freely, just as He gives it to us.
When we love our enemies, we imitate Christ’s love. Romans 12:20-21 (NLT) encourages us to overcome evil with good: “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads. Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.” Loving our enemies is not passive but active, and it challenges us to rise above resentment by showing kindness.
Practical Steps to Love Your Enemies
Loving your enemies is an act of obedience to God, and He provides practical ways to start doing this, even when our emotions don’t align.
- Pray for Them: One of the most powerful tools God gives us to love our enemies is prayer. When we pray for those who hurt us, we shift our focus from the wrong they’ve done to the healing and forgiveness God offers. As Matthew 5:44 (NLT) tells us, “Pray for those who persecute you.” Through prayer, we invite God to work in both their lives and ours. I’ve found that as I pray for my enemies, bitterness fades and compassion grows. It’s hard to hold onto anger when you’re genuinely asking God to bless someone.
- Forgive, Even When It’s Hard: Forgiveness is at the heart of loving our enemies. Colossians 3:13 (NLT) urges us, “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Forgiveness doesn’t excuse the wrong done, but it frees us from the burden of holding onto anger. I’ve discovered that forgiveness is often a process, not a one-time event. It might require daily surrender to God as we ask Him to help us let go of the offense.
- Act with Kindness: The Bible encourages us not just to think kind thoughts but to actively do good to those who wrong us. Proverbs 25:21-22 (NLT) says, “If your enemies are hungry, give them food to eat. If they are thirsty, give them water to drink. You will heap burning coals of shame on their heads, and the Lord will reward you.” Small acts of kindness—like offering a smile, a helping hand, or a word of encouragement—can soften our hearts toward our enemies. These actions also reflect the love of Christ and can open the door to reconciliation.
The Spiritual Benefits of Loving Your Enemies
Though loving our enemies is difficult, it brings profound spiritual growth and blessings. One of the greatest benefits is the deepening of our relationship with God. When we choose to love in obedience to Christ, we rely on His strength rather than our own. This dependence fosters humility and spiritual maturity.
Furthermore, loving our enemies reflects the character of God. Matthew 5:45 (NLT) reminds us, “In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For He gives His sunlight to both the evil and the good, and He sends rain on the just and the unjust alike.” Just as God shows kindness to all people, we are called to extend grace to those who don’t deserve it. This makes us more like Christ, and in doing so, we become a powerful witness to the world of His transformative love.
There is also freedom in loving our enemies. Holding onto resentment binds us, but when we release those feelings and choose love, we experience peace. I’ve found that the more I practice loving those who’ve hurt me, the more joy and freedom I have in Christ.
Trusting God with Justice
Loving our enemies doesn’t mean we ignore justice. God is a God of justice, and He will make all things right in His time. Romans 12:19 (NLT) says, “Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, ‘I will take revenge; I will pay them back,’ says the Lord.” Trusting God to handle justice frees us from the burden of seeking revenge and allows us to focus on what He’s called us to do: love.
There have been times in my life when I wanted to take matters into my own hands, but I’ve learned that God’s justice is perfect. He sees the full picture, and His timing is always better than ours. When we trust God to bring justice, we can move forward in love without bitterness.
Conclusion: Living Out Christ’s Love
Loving our enemies is one of the hardest commands Jesus gives us, but it’s also one of the most powerful. Through prayer, forgiveness, and acts of kindness, we can love as Christ loves. And as we do, we not only reflect His character to the world, but we also grow closer to Him and experience His peace.
Ultimately, loving our enemies points us back to the gospel. While we were still enemies of God, He loved us enough to send His Son to die for us (Romans 5:10, NLT). If God can show us such incredible grace, we too can extend grace to those who wrong us. It’s not easy, but with the Holy Spirit’s help, we can fulfill Jesus’ command to love—even our enemies.